As long as we remember them, they are still with us
A few weeks ago I flew to Adelaide, where I spent my years as a young adult, to celebrate the life of a friend and mentor who died earlier in the year. It was busy, catching up with everyone I knew from years ago, and there were some scheduling issues. It reminded me of an old friend from my days playing in a short-lived but thoroughly enjoyable band there. He missed an appointment we had made and I asked him,‘don’t you write it in your diary?’ He replied that he did, but that he then forgot to look at it.
Creativity and destruction, beginnings, middles and ends – they are all intertwined. Once we went to parties, now we go to funerals – perhaps the two are connected. I was remembering someone I used to work with a lifetime ago. ‘She’s probably dead’ someone said and I thought that perhaps people already wondered that about me – ‘whatever happened to such and such, he’s probably dead by now.’
Longer and heavier
As we get older our lives become longer and heavier. At the same time we become smaller and lighter, shrinking into time – in the end, that imbalance is what finishes us all. As those we know age and enter a world of falls and spills and forgetting, it's good to remember that their lives were always full of dancing, friends and family – and fun.
It is strange no longer to have conversations with those who have gone. You know you are hovering by the boundary between the living and the dead when you suddenly think you need to tell some important news to someone – then realise they are no longer here.
There's the legacy you leave and the legacy you have – the legacy you have is the memories of all the friends (and possibly the actual friends themselves) and the interesting and exciting moments and insights you've had.
Talking with ghosts
Perhaps it’s a sign of getting older, when an increasingly high proportion of those you know are no longer here, but I find myself more and more talking to ghosts. I’ll be thinking about something – perhaps important, perhaps quite trivial, but interesting – and I’ll suddenly think ‘I must ring Mum’ (or someone else, departed family member, friend) about that. Then I’ll check myself and realise that the days of ringing them, or bumping into them, or visiting them, are long gone.
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| We are approaching shakier times - perhaps we are already there. |
Creativity and destruction, beginnings, middles and ends – they are all intertwined. Once we went to parties, now we go to funerals – perhaps the two are connected. I was remembering someone I used to work with a lifetime ago. ‘She’s probably dead’ someone said and I thought that perhaps people already wondered that about me – ‘whatever happened to such and such, he’s probably dead by now.’
Longer and heavier
As we get older our lives become longer and heavier. At the same time we become smaller and lighter, shrinking into time – in the end, that imbalance is what finishes us all. As those we know age and enter a world of falls and spills and forgetting, it's good to remember that their lives were always full of dancing, friends and family – and fun.
'You know you are hovering by the boundary between the living and the dead when you suddenly think you need to tell some important news to someone – then realise they are no longer here.'
It is strange no longer to have conversations with those who have gone. You know you are hovering by the boundary between the living and the dead when you suddenly think you need to tell some important news to someone – then realise they are no longer here.
There's the legacy you leave and the legacy you have – the legacy you have is the memories of all the friends (and possibly the actual friends themselves) and the interesting and exciting moments and insights you've had.
Talking with ghosts
Perhaps it’s a sign of getting older, when an increasingly high proportion of those you know are no longer here, but I find myself more and more talking to ghosts. I’ll be thinking about something – perhaps important, perhaps quite trivial, but interesting – and I’ll suddenly think ‘I must ring Mum’ (or someone else, departed family member, friend) about that. Then I’ll check myself and realise that the days of ringing them, or bumping into them, or visiting them, are long gone.
© Stephen Cassidy 2025
See also
On the rails again – a trip about the past and the future
I'm on the road again – well, on the rails again. On Monday I caught the slow train from Canberra to Sydney, and today I’ve woken up to a third morning in Surry Hills. I’m enjoying the days in Sydney – after all, I did live here for twelve and a half years. I’m mainly here to see the Yolngu Power exhibition at the Art Gallery of NSW, which finishes next week, but I’m also using the trip to see to other business’, On the rails again – a trip about the past and the future.
I'm on the road again – well, on the rails again. On Monday I caught the slow train from Canberra to Sydney, and today I’ve woken up to a third morning in Surry Hills. I’m enjoying the days in Sydney – after all, I did live here for twelve and a half years. I’m mainly here to see the Yolngu Power exhibition at the Art Gallery of NSW, which finishes next week, but I’m also using the trip to see to other business’, On the rails again – a trip about the past and the future.
Looking down on dire predictions
‘I see the latest report on looming climate change has some pretty dire predictions – like a future of four times the length of heatwaves, up to five times as many deaths due to extreme heat, a massive drag on productivity, 1.5 million Australians at risk of coastal flooding and a potential half trillion dollar hit to property values by 20250 – and that’s just the good news’, Looking down on dire predictions’, Looking down on dire predictions.
‘I see the latest report on looming climate change has some pretty dire predictions – like a future of four times the length of heatwaves, up to five times as many deaths due to extreme heat, a massive drag on productivity, 1.5 million Australians at risk of coastal flooding and a potential half trillion dollar hit to property values by 20250 – and that’s just the good news’, Looking down on dire predictions’, Looking down on dire predictions.
Marching with the Nazis – as un-Australian as it gets
'I’m still shocked by the marches and rallies around the country opposing immigration. Everyone involved says mass immigration, but it’s clear in practice they mean most immigration – and definitely all immigration by people who aren’t white, or as I like to say, ‘pink’. Here I am travelling through my own homeland once again and, at times, it seems like a foreign country – not because of immigrants but because of those who have grown up here. Those taking part in these marches probably have genuine grievances, but they have picked the wrong target to blame and, in the process, have been steered into becoming in effect neo-Nazi fellow travellers. We are (almost) all immigrants here, only just starting to genuinely come to grips with this country', Marching with the Nazis – as un-Australian as it gets.
Self-imposed lockdown
'For all their faults and disadvantages there were some positive sides to the pandemic lockdowns. As I often say, ‘good times’ – maybe my memory isn’t what it was. I realise that I planned and prepared for so long to move to an apartment and now I am here I keep discovering more and more things I like about it. I could stay home and read and write and never leave it, just popping down to the shops when I need supplies – perhaps it’s a case of self-imposed lockdown', Self-imposed lockdown.
Essen, trinken, tanzen – aber nicht rauchen
‘From time to time my posts on ‘travelling light’ include references to restaurants we have eaten at or enjoyable places we have stayed. However, most of my regular writing about food, produce, restaurants and places we have stayed is on one of my blogs, tableland, which I describe as: ‘Food and cooking land to table – the daily routine of living in the high country, on the edge of the vast Pacific, just up from Sydney, just down from Mount Kosciuszko’, Essen, trinken, tanzen – aber nicht rauchen.
‘From time to time my posts on ‘travelling light’ include references to restaurants we have eaten at or enjoyable places we have stayed. However, most of my regular writing about food, produce, restaurants and places we have stayed is on one of my blogs, tableland, which I describe as: ‘Food and cooking land to table – the daily routine of living in the high country, on the edge of the vast Pacific, just up from Sydney, just down from Mount Kosciuszko’, Essen, trinken, tanzen – aber nicht rauchen.
Cooking minestrone in an art gallery – pineapple fruit cake, hot soup and art on a cold day
‘In winter my mind turns to food, but since it is never turned away from art, cooking and looking manage to fill in the cooler months – or maybe that’s all months. I haven’t made hand-made pasta for a while but I have made sushi and sashimi – though only once in recent memory – as I resurrect all my food traditions. Cooking, eating and cruising around art exhibitions – that’s winter for me’, Cooking minestrone in an art gallery - pineapple fruit cake, hot soup and art on a cold day
‘In winter my mind turns to food, but since it is never turned away from art, cooking and looking manage to fill in the cooler months – or maybe that’s all months. I haven’t made hand-made pasta for a while but I have made sushi and sashimi – though only once in recent memory – as I resurrect all my food traditions. Cooking, eating and cruising around art exhibitions – that’s winter for me’, Cooking minestrone in an art gallery - pineapple fruit cake, hot soup and art on a cold day
Winter markets in a creative city
'The winter we had to have (and could have hoped for) finally arrived on the Southern Tablelands. We have gone back to going to the Farmers Market every week. To add to the winter sun good news arrived. For over ten years we worked to have Canberra listed as a UNESCO Creative City of Design, part of a global network of creative cities. Finally the ACT Government announced that it intended to take the bid forward – and that it had allocated funding for it, the true sign of a government being serious. It’s always a pleasure to help initiate a worthwhile endeavour, but even more of a pleasure to look back ten years later and see that it has been a roaring success in more ways than one', Winter markets in a creative city.
Speaking in tongues
‘Where I live a statue of French maritime hero, La Pérouse, looks out over the suburb as though to say: this, too, could have been France. For a period it seemed everyone who went to school in Australia studied French. Perhaps it was a belated attempt to acknowledge how much better everything would have been if the French had got here first. As I like to say whenever I’m in France, ‘j’ai étudié le Français pendant six ans à l’école’ and I would like to have had more opportunity to use that knowledge', Speaking in tongues.Looking down on birds
'While the world unravels and some gleefully repeat the mistakes of the past, life goes on in gardens everywhere. I remember that in the Roman Empire, if a change of regime occurred, soldiers, recognising that they were also farmers, would often retire for a time to their farm - until circumstances and duty called them back. Some wit commented that what is happening now is like the fall of the Roman Empire, but with wi-fi', Looking down on birds.
Back in the days when we travelled
'Back in the days when we travelled, I used to post news of my trips to Facebook, so my friends could follow my exploits overseas. For a long time it has been apparent that Facebook has issues, so back in 2019 I set up this blog 'Travelling light' to replace my Facebook posts. However, in the end I decided to stay with Facebook, so this blog was never used', Back in the days when we travelled.
Travelling light by being still
'As I've said repeatedly, I don't have any problem with flying, it's landing and taking off I don't like – and all the logistics in-between. I have few problems with lounging around for hours and on a flight, you get to sit still while people bring you food and drink. How much better does it get?', Travelling light by being still.
Abandoning the world of work
'When I left full-time work over ten years ago, I was asked what I intended to do. Once I no longer had distractions, like work – fun though it was at the time – it was clear that I would definitely have some time on my hands. I replied that I planned to keep up with my friends and to travel – when I wasn't gardening, cooking, reading or writing. It sounded like a fine plan at the time and as things panned out, it WAS a fine plan', Abandoning the world of work.